Welp...herpes.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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