No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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