It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Can I color on your dick again?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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