Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
