Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize