if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
