and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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