you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
