i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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