So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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