Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
