my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
