i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
