Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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