Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
