I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
