I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
