pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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