She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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