Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
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He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize