Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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