the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
