I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Found your dick twin last night
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
