If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
