I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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