I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
