this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
