you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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