we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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