BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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