My brain says no but my pants say off.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
