I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
