is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
