is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
