I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
