Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we made out on top of his cat.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
