I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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