you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
