Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.

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  (519): Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone. http://tfl.nu/1akv
  Replies (12) Good night (1195) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.

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  (540): new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours. http://tfl.nu/tvzk
  Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (1513) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?

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  (503): Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes? http://tfl.nu/o6hc
  Replies (7) Good night (2848) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.

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  (516): Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it. http://tfl.nu/st29
  Replies (22) Good night (3981) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.

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  (618): My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma. http://tfl.nu/chfg
  Replies (13) Good night (3672) Bad night (895) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.

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  (703): You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's. http://tfl.nu/9isl
  Replies (16) Good night (1047) Bad night (3313) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.

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  (916): Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours. http://tfl.nu/ckbp
  Replies (10) Good night (1710) Bad night (869)
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  (456): View more from

  Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here

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  (456): Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here http://tfl.nu/rved
  Replies (2) Good night (676) Bad night (1635) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.

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  (336): I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella. http://tfl.nu/lhln
  Replies (10) Good night (3654) Bad night (621)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.

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  (313): It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike. http://tfl.nu/mqaw
  Replies (4) Good night (514) Bad night (1331) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.

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  (812): last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out. http://tfl.nu/4jcj
  Replies (5) Good night (996) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...

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  (321): Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face... http://tfl.nu/4hpu
  Replies (3) Good night (303) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I asked her politely not to touch my dick

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  (703): I asked her politely not to touch my dick http://tfl.nu/5dz2
  Replies (6) Good night (570) Bad night (1344) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.

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  (847): This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird. http://tfl.nu/h1he
  Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger

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  (304): They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger http://tfl.nu/q9xy
  Replies (4) Good night (778) Bad night (170) Order T-Shirt

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