You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style