Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Some milfs here doing some blow
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.