omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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