I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
