we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
