Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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