what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
