Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
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I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
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I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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