My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize