What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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