New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize