My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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