I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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