Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I wish I only lived at night.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
