I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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