I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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