Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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