Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
