yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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