oh god the rape fog is back!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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