Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
