Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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