she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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