I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
